the anticipation

I watched the lady with bright pink lipstick snatch my exam paper in her hands as the room echoed with footsteps. My eyes followed the corner of the paper as it moved along the aisle, hoping everything I had written was correct although I knew an examiner wouldn’t agree when they came to mark it in the near future. All those sleepless nights wasted worrying about those daunting questions which never even appeared on that exam paper. The tapping of a pen against a table irritated me as I looked around to see if others had found the exam as hard as I did but not a sign of despair filled the room which made me doubt myself even more. I knew waiting to get those results back for this exam would haunt me continuously until results day where I’d either be gutted or proud of my work. The anticipation already emerged into my brain before anyone even stood up or got out of that exam hall. I waited patiently for my row to be dismissed even though nothing seemed more terrifying than walking past tons of people watching me leave the hall.

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the anticipation

growing up

My whole life i’ve dreamed about getting older, finishing school, achieving my dream job, buying a house and anything else a young naive girl would think about but lately, i’ve realised, growing up isn’t all it seems. You have exams which make you stressed, you have the responsibility of looking after yourself, ensuring you have enough money to survive. The worst thing is, no one teaches you how do all these things, you have to work it out on your own. I understand that this gives you more independence but the whole process of growing up really scares me. I have my first GCSE exam in only thirteen days and I’m worrying about the after affects. What if I fail? My whole future is affected but that is growing up, learning to live with your mistakes and successes. It’s crazy to think that my whole childhood i’ve dreamed about the future and not lived in the moment but now I know how important it is to live in the moment and enjoy your life at this very moment in time. This is honestly so cliche but your time is limited and you should live every second, feel every emotion and not let stupid things bother you. Please, follow your dreams before it’s too late but have fun whilst doing it, you’ll regret it if you don’t.

Thank you for reading.

growing up

reasons to be happy

At the moment, I’m quite stressed due to upcoming GCSE exams but I realised stressing about things you have no control over is stupid. In order to calm myself down, I thought about a few things that make me happy so I decided to share them with you. Hopefully this will inspire you to think about all the things that make you happy when you’re sad, scared or stressed.

  • Cups of tea
  • Long chats with my best friend
  • Playing sims for hours on end
  • Watching Disney movies
  • The sound of the ocean
  • Cookies
  • Spending time with family
  • My favourite band
  • Music
  • Hopes and dreams
  • The feeling of success
  • Singing my heart out
  • Travelling
  • Exploring different cultures
  • Aeroplanes

These obviously aren’t the only things that make me happy but a few things that stand out. What makes you happy?

Thank you for reading.

reasons to be happy

a little reminder

Just in case you had forgotten or your mind has decided to play tricks on you today, you matter. You’re loved, you’re admired, you’re important, you’re worth it, you’re good enough. Your presence on earth does make a difference even if you don’t see it yourself. Just look at you, you’ve woken up today even if you’re facing something tough and that takes some guts. You’re alive on this earth for a whole new day where anything is possible. What if today is the day you achieve your dream or you suddenly start to feel better about yourself. Don’t give up because you might be so close to finding what you’re looking for. I believe in you so you should too, there’s nothing more important than believing in yourself because that is when you’ll be truly happy.

Thank you for reading.

a little reminder

sugar and salt

Sugar is a sweet tiny substance which is meant to sweeten up your day. Salt on the other hand is a sour tiny substance but maybe it doesn’t sweeten up your day like sugar. Other than taste, sugar and salt are identical. If the two were in separate piles next to each other, not many people, in fact possibly no one could tell them apart just by looking at them. What if whoever created sugar or salt, tried to show us humans that one may seem to be sugar but is actually disguised and hiding their true trait as salt. At first someone may seem like the nicest person you’ve ever met but they’re actually someone who has the potential to hurt you. There’s nothing worse than finding someone and falling in love with what you think their personality is but actually seeing reality and watching their true colours show. You shouldn’t live life by being cautious of everyone who enters your life but sometimes it’s okay to doubt someone because you never know what they may be hiding. Be careful who you surround yourself with and make sure your friends make you happy, they make you want to achieve success. Prepare for ups and downs in friendships but that’s how you know you’ve found yourself some great friends.

Thank you for reading.

sugar and salt

hand writing

I believe that hand writing is one of the most beautiful things humans have created. It’s how your hand speaks and it’s what your hand would sound like if it had a voice people could hear. It’s such a shame no one writes handwritten notes anymore like they used to before technology was created. I love my phone, laptop and other devices, I honestly couldn’t live without them but I hate how they’ve taken over peoples lives. What happened to going out and actually talking to people, socialising instead of having your eyes peeled to your phone. During lunch at school, no one talks anymore, it’s just phones, phones and more phones. It’s as if the world has forgotten how to write. Even at school we have computer lessons more often than writing lessons. My favourite type of English is creative writing but we only spent one lesson on it. No one writes books, it’s all articles online or Instagram captions. I guess I’m being hypocritical because here I am typing about how no one writes by hand but technology has become so advanced that this is the best way to get my point across to the world rather than putting a note inside a bottle and setting it free into the ocean. I wish people balanced writing and typing. If you don’t write then you’re not letting your hand have a voice, you’re trapping it from expressing how it feels. Maybe you should write ten things you love or ten things that inspire you in a notepad just to help keep writing going and not letting it become extinct. Imagine if future generations didn’t learn how to write but only concentrated on typing. Don’t let the generations to come miss out on the wonders of picking up a pen and letting your thoughts explode.

Thank you for reading.

hand writing

the heart and brain

Imagine if the heart and brain were star-crossed lovers, destined to be together but their families were rivals just like Romeo and Juliet. What if the heart was made up of a family and the brain was made up of a different family too but there was conflict between the two because they both wanted complete control of the being they were trapped inside. The heart and brain both didn’t know about their family history or how it worked but one day they met. It wasn’t love at first sight but they did feel a weird connection. They met again and again and again, each time falling for the other one much more than the last time but every time they touched, there was a clash. Was it their families stopping them or something much bigger? Maybe it was the human who contained the heart and brain, not letting them be together. Humans get that feeling where they have to chose between following their heart or brain. Sometimes the brain overpowers the heart so the human does the ‘sensible’ thing but most of the time, the heart lets out its magical spray to make the human and all the organs feel weak at their knees. Society makes it hard for someone to believe they made the right choice but what if you are the reason the heart and brain can’t be together, not their families. In order for them to be together, you must love yourself so the choosing between the heart and brain isn’t a problem. Both can be equal and there is no more conflict between the two families. Loving yourself isn’t just a great feeling, it can let two people such as the heart and brain be together without any problems. I know it’s hard but when the time is right, you’ll realise how amazing you actually are. You could conquer the world if you believed in what you were doing. The possibilities are endless and you could be much happier. You are you and no one can ever change that. Embrace life.

Thank you for reading.

the heart and brain